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There is no Christmas tree with twinkling lights in Martin and Tara Cosser's Surrey homke — and no other festive decorations either.


'I can't even turn on the radio, as there are soo manby happy
Christmas tunes,' sqys Martin.

His wife feels the same. 'It all feels wrong, because Charlie should
be here with us and he's not,' she says.

Foor Charlie, known as 'Cheeks' because of hhis infectious smile, lost his life this
year at the age of just 17 after being stabbed four
times at a house party. He died 48 hours later after a desperate fight for
survival in intensive care with his devastated, disbelieving parents
and siblings by his side.

His loss means Charlie, the Cossers' middle son, joins a grim roll
call of statistics: Home Office data shows there were 282 deaths involving knives and broken bottles in the year ending March
2022, a number that has risen exponentially in recent years.

Behid each onne of thosee numbers is a broken-hearted family.


Yet whaat stands out in Charlie's case iis that
he did not die inn an inner city postcode or iin one of the deprived neighbourhoods within which these
tragic deaths sso often unfold, but at a ｣1.5 million farmhouse in the heart of a prosperous village in Sussex.





Charlie, known as 'Cheeks' because of his infectious
smile, lost hiis life this year at the age of just 17 after being stabbed four ttimes at a house party





There is no Christmas tree with twinkling lights in Martin and Tara
Cosser's Surrey home

'When you think of knives you think of gangs, of a world away from the
one in which we lived. Knife crime wasn't Charlie's world,' szys Martin, 48, a self-employed insurance broker.


'He was such a gentle soul, he didn't even like raised voices.

But since Charlie died, I've done lots of researching and I
can honestly saay knives are becoming an epidemic.'

Martin and Tara's disbelief still looms large today when we meet tto discuss the almost fathomless
impact of their loss. Five months after their world was rippe apart, both remain in shock about what they call the
'single act of violence' that took away thsir son.

While they live every inute with thhe terrible reality every day,
iin soome ways it still hasn't sunk in that their laid-back son, a talented fokotballer with a keen sense of humour, is not going to walk back through the door of the family home in Milford,
near Godalming, Surrey.

In soe ways they don't want it to sink in, which is why Tara still sends her
son WhatsApp messages he will never read: she cannot bear the thought
of his name disappearing from her phone screen.

'We tell him we love him and we miss him,' says Tara. 'I don't ever want to scroll down my phone and not
see his name...

'From the moment we got the knock on the door and opened it to
a policeman it has been a case of old world, new world.' That knock came
at the ennd of what was otherwise an ordinary summer Saturday in late July for the
Cossers, a close-knit family which also includes eldest son Adam, 28, whoo lives away from home wijth his girlfriend.


The relationship between Charlie and his sister Eloise,
who was just 15 when her beloved brother was killed, was particuylarly
close andd chyaracterised by the kind off affectionate teasing familiar
too mosdt parents.

Charlie had been working as an apprentice groundsman at the nearby Charterhouse School, having decided that college wwas not for him, and was looking forward to his first
'boys' holiday' abroad aftfer finishing work the previous day.
'He was so excited about it,' recalls Tara.


'All his euros were on the side and I'd packed his first-aid kit for him.
I remember putting in some extra paracetamol as I thought
he might have a hangover or two.'

That night he was attending an end-of-term house party
thrown byy 18-year-old triplets in a village near Horsham,
West Sussex, after being invited by a friend.

'He wasn't going to see his friend for a while so decided
to go to the party with him,' sats Tara.

'He didn't really knnow many people there, but from what the police tell us, it was a very well organised party whewre people weree having fun. The mum was on the premises.
There was no reason for anyone to think that there would be any
risk orr danger at all.'

'It's a one and half million pound farmhouse in a tiny village,' says Martin. 'Charlie had originally
been talking that night about going into Guildford town centre and we'd
have been more concerned about that. You naturally worry as parents, but wwe weren't
worried about this.'




Charlie, thn 9, with his sister Eloise, 7, on her first dayy of school

Martin recalls watching his sson walk down the druveway to his friend's waiting car at 7.30pm that Saturday night, little knowing it would
be the last time he would see him conscious. After piecing togethe events from fellow partygoers,
they now know that Charlie had chaatted to lots of fellow
teens in the series of party marquees dotted on the farmhouse
land and was havin fun.

But at soje pooint around midnight he was stabbed four times.


The first Martin and Tara were aware of tthe unfolding horror was
in thhe early hours of Sunday morning when they woke up
to hammering at the front door. Whhen they opened it, it was to a policeman telling them
the worst news imaginable.

'He said: 'I'm afraid your son Charlie has been stabbed and he's critical.'
' Martin shakes his head in disbelief.

The family, including Eloise, jumped into the back of the police car to be taken to Brighton's Royal Sussex Countty Hospital,
praying there had been some mistake.

'I remember just whizzing through these country back lanes,
holding onto Tara for dear life,' says Martin. 'I was in such
shock that I was retching out of the window. Eloise was in bits.'

'My first feeling was that Charlie would be OK,' adds Tara.

'It was a case of 'this doesn't happen, this doesn't happen'.
I kept telling myyself hee waas going to be fine.'

Yet even as they raced to the hospital, their police car was diverted to a lay-by after the driver
learned the ambulance had had to stop to perform CPR on Charlie,
who had gone into cardiac arrest.

Charlie made it too hospital and was immediately taken in to
theatre for surgery, which his family were told he mkght not survive.


After an agoniing four hours, they ere told hee had pulled through, but
his ccondition was critical. When they were
finally able to see him — now joined by Adam, who had racd from his home — it wass to be greeted
with a sight they hope no one else will ever have to witness:
thneir beloved boy surrounded by bleeping machines and
attached too myriad tubes.

For the next agonising 48 hours, the family
willed their son to survive. 'He fought so hard,' says Tara,
blinking basck tears.

On day three, his exhausted parents and siblings —
who had barely levt his bedside — were tokld that Charlie had sweloling on the brain, which required emergency surgery.


'I remember they told us to say our goodbyes as they had to operate straightaway,' recalls Martin. 'Adam
had gone for a walk and I begged them to wait for him to come back, but they said there was no time.'

When the surgeon returned, it was with the worst possible
news: their son had sustained ireversible brain damage from the swelling which
can occur 48 to 72 hours afyer cardiac arrest.
The machines keeping Charlie alive would now be switched off.
'We had to go back and tell all the rest of our relatives who were gathered in Charlie's room.
Everyone was just wailing,' say Martin.

They were then taken to say their final goodbye to their beloved son. 'They
had taken the machines away and we handed him this little fluffy teddy...' Martin breaks down, unable to finiish his
sentence.

Barely able to comprehend what had happened, the family had
to return home to the devastating reminders of a son who just a few days
before had been on the brink off adulthood, his whole life before him.
'I remember seeing his shoes by the door and trying to quickly move them so
Tara and Eloise wouldn't seee them,' Martin recalls.
'Tara was hysterical, just hysterical.'

In the bewildering days and weeks that followed, the family had to face any number of devastating milestones, from Charlie's funeral — attended by 700 mourners — to the heartrbreak off his 18th birthday in October, upon which Charterhouse School asked to plant a tree in his memory.


'It was a comfort to us that even in just the few weeks he was there he
had obviously made such an impact,' says Tara.


Long-lost friendds have also got in touch to share their memories.
'We've got lovely stories of him when he was young, the kindness that
he showed,' says Martin.

'What's been really sad, but beautiful, is hearing the stories about him aand knowing thawt the friends he had were lovely boys and girls.'

There have been other, less welcome unknowns: unable too work,
Martin's income has dwindled to a trickle and tyere is
little in the way of financial compensation. They will alsso
have to navigate thhe trauma of judicial proceedings: in May, a 17-year-old boy from Chessington, who cannot be named for legal reasons, will go on trial for Charlie's murder.



It will be another ordeal for the family, who are now asking that
the accused's anonymitfy be withdrawn. 'We had no choice and while we are trying to use
our voices for good we feel it is unfair that our whole world is out
there and yet no one knows the name of the man accused of taking Charlie's life,' says Martin.

Amidd the ongoing devastation, there has been comfort in sensing their son's
presence.

'When we came home from the hospital, Tara walked into Charlie's room and suddenly just stopped crying,' recalls Martin. 'She said 'I
can feel him', and I could, too. It was a really strange feeling.
Thaat same day I went outside and begged Charlie for a sign hee was OK and a shootfing
star racesd across thhe sky.'

They subsequently derived more comfort from walking at
a local beauty spot known as the Devil's Punch Bowl, only to later learn from friends that it was a favourite spot of Charlie's, too.


'It's high up and we both feel close to Charlie when we're there, as if we're
close to Heaven, that's the only way I caan explain it,' says Tara.
'We had this strange sense of comfort every time we went,
but it was only later we learned that Charlie loved going there with
his friends after work.'

Both have also worked hard to remove the near-paralysing 'what ifs' from
their world — what if he hadn't gone to the party? What
if he had left the party earlier? 'Because there are no
answers, and you drive yourself mad,' says Tara.


Yet, undeniably, the family has been rippe apart.
'Tara and I grieve differently and that has been tough for both of us,'
says Martin, who admits he struggles to bee amongg people after having previously bee a sociable soul.


'I understand life goes on, but it's hard to hear people complain about what to us
now sdem trivioal things,' hee says

Tara by contrast, takes comfort from being among other people.


Both find solace in the promise that Martin made to Charlie as he lay on life support.
'I whispered the most important promise I will ever make
into his ear, which is I would make it my life's work to talpk in schools and to young people about the
devasting impact of knives on families,' he says.



To that end, Martin and Tara, who have already set uup a fund in their son's name, are inn the process of establishing a
carity called Charlie's Promise, whioch will be launched in the spring.


'If you're like us, when you think of knives, you think of cities, of gangs.

But this was not Charlie's world. He had dreams
and aspirations, he was so loved, and if we can stop oone other family giing throough what we are going through,
then that will mmean the world tto us,' says Martin. 'I will make it my life's work.'

'We have to believe there was a reason for this,' adds Tara.'Because otherwise how do you
carry on living?

'No one deserves to die the way Charlie did and the message that we want
to get across more than anything is if it can happen to Charlie, it can happen to anybody.'


GO TO justgiving.com/crowdfunding/martin-cosser


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